Tiffany Writes:

Stuart, I have just got back from my latest Dance class in Eastbourne and have read about your horrible loss. I am heartbroken, as I am sure you are.

Needless to say, I have some marvelous grieving lotion that I could apply (by hand). All it would take would be a quick trip to the south coast. Hopefully, see you soon.

Stuart writes: There is no such thing as “Grieving Lotion”  – and may I remind you of your Restraining Order !!

Bugger Off…..