Tiffany Writes:

Stuart, I have just read your blog about Julie coming home.I have just come back home from my first Dance class in Eastbourne after being released from the Unit. My good friend Horatio Fellatio was fantastic and visited me every week, and those rumours about me in the storeroom are complete LIES .

The tag ruins my leggings, though

How is the bulge in your leggings? I hope it is under control. Maybe you could come down to Eastbourne and we could do some “planking”.

Speak soon.

Stuart writes: I thought that you had a restraining order.I will be writing to the warden soon.